The Day I Started Blogging
I don’t know what I was thinking when I started blogging. I guess I thought I had something important to say and someone else might want to hear it. Apparently, I was wrong! I started blogging years and years ago. This blog is certainly not my first. I am however trying to make this blog my last. I want this blog to encompass my life. That’s why each blog post is a little bit different. I dive into different topics and genres. I have fallen in love with these prompts that I find online to give me ideas on what to base my blog on that day.
However, when I initially started blogging I had so much pent up in my spirit in my heart that I just had to get it out. It was nothing that I wanted to share with anyone in particular, so I wrote it out. I legitimately don’t even remember where I did my first blog. It was on some rinky-dink website and I know I didn’t have many followers so I didn’t bother to continue with it. I did not pay any money for the web page, so I really wasn’t out anything.
But now things are different. I am in my 40s and I am living with the love of my life. I have four adult children and my youngest son is active in the military. He is making me extremely proud of every action he takes in his life. As readers, you already know I don’t have contact with my other three children. However, now that I am saved and I know the purpose of prayer, I pray for them on a regular basis.
When I first started blogging I was in my early 20s and I have the “Job Corp” mentality. I was gung ho for education and making a change in my life. I do remember that much. I remember going into the computer room and we would have free time on the computers. I would log in and just dump all of my emotions onto that keyboard because I literally had no one to talk to. I am convinced at this point, if I didn’t have that dumping ground, I would have imploded. There were multiple times when I thought my life was not worthy to continue and suicidal thoughts rambled from time to time. But that is one thing I am grateful for. My virtual dumping ground.
Now I am older and I realize that suicide is no longer an option. I have come to the realization that I need to conquer every obstacle and be a survivor on the other side. I still attribute a lot of that to my blog. This current blog is the only one I have and I have been updating it on a regular basis since the beginning of 2022 year. My hope is to continue. Maybe when I am dead and gone, of natural causes, someone will publish my blog. Who knows.
At this point in my life, I think that writing and blogging are my go-to. It is what I go to in order to relieve my stress and anxiety. I can put on the screen what I am too scared to say to someone. I am so fearful of rejection or judgment that I don’t want to take the chance of someone actually accepting me for me. Now, my husband knows everything about my history. I keep no secrets from him. It is just the rest of the world that I’m worried about.
So, In short, I guess it would be pretty cool to see those first blogs that I did in my teens and early 20s. It would be cool to see how far I have come and what I have actually conquered. I think in retrospect I may even surprise myself. But, that won’t happen because I am sure that they are gone. And in a way, I am glad they are gone because what my fingers type on those keys is also gone. That’s what makes history.
Until Next Time,
Kristina
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