My Mind is a Wreck
Who is the genius that decided doing a full blood panel on a person who obviously has anxiety issues was a good idea?! I had my blood drawn to test for several different vitamin deficiencies last week and still have no results. In my opinion the results should obviously not take this long; however, I am far from working in the medical field. So, basically, I must deal with what I am being told by a secondhand source. But it does not set my mind at ease one single bit.
Throwing myself into God’s Word to help with my anxious feelings and thoughts seems to be helping. So, what have I been doing? Researching Luke 21: 13-36 to see where this takes me. In all honesty I am not sure if the verses are helping me with my anxious feelings or if they are keeping me distracted by my research into them. Either way, it seems to be helping, a bit.
Just because I know me, I had to break down every verse and see just how it is going to help my anxiety. The Book of Luke is an actual record of observations and predictions about Jesus being delivered into the Temple in Jerusalem. Sooooo, what does that have to do with anxiety, in my opinion, so far…nothing. However, I keep going and digging deeper.
The beginning reads; “This will be your opportunity to bear witness”. What does ‘bear witness’ mean in biblical terms? Is it different then generalized verbiage? Nope, pretty much the same thing; to serve as evidence that something exists. I am still reading the passages over and over trying to find some sort of consolation. I read about how Jesus is telling about the destruction Jerusalem will endure before it happens and everything. Still worried and still anxious. Not as bad, but it is there. I can feel it.
Then it happens and I can tell as soon as it does. I read verse 28, “Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near." Immediately I go over to Google to get a specific explanation as to what redemption means at this point. An action of saving or being saved from sin or evil. Then it hits me to knock it off, step back, and give it back to Jesus. Let Him hold onto my worry and frustration and anxiety, while I wait for the results. Because there is nothing, and I mean nothing, I can do about it to change the timeline at this point.
I decide to take a break at work and call my doctor to check on my results. They are in! My doctor has not had a chance to look them over just yet, but they are in, and that is a huge relief. The receptionist did not tell me that the doctor wanted to meet in person to discuss them anymore, so that was a secondary relief. Maybe they will just be the regulatory results and there is nothing to be concerned about. That has been my prayer.
Going back to reading Luke, I come across the finishing touches of how it is going to calm my anxiety. It is in verse 34. “But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap.” So, my heart is not weighed down…so, my heart, is not, weighed down…weighed down…My goodness, my God is always watching out for my heart, for me, for my stability, and my mental health. I just need to step back and allow Him to do His thing!
Until next time.
Kristina
#KristinaWrites #100DaysOfAnxiety