I Survived Christmas

Those of you that know me very well know why the title of this blog is significant. For those of you who do not know me very well let me explain. I do not do well during the holidays, at all. I actually try to avoid holiday events as much as humanly possible. This year, 2023; I gracefully bowed out of several different events that I probably should have been a part of. However, I knew that mentally I would not be able to take it. And while I look back at it, I am glad that I did.

The verse that kept hitting me over Christmas was John 3:16-17 which reads "for God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. Indeed, God did not send the son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him."

The analytical jerk inside of me really broke this verse down from so many different angles I began to worry myself. I had to really step back and just allow God's word to speak to me. I stopped trying to overanalyze it or make sense of it. Sometimes you just have to read the Bible and absorb the word. And that is exactly what I had to do over the course of the past week or so.

In my mind I am thinking that what happens if I am one of those people that does not believe strongly enough in God; do I not have eternal life? What if, what I think is enough is not enough for God, and then I am not worthy of eternal life? Then I started thinking back to what I did yesterday or last week or last month and then I know that that's not going to be good enough for God, so then what? Is anything that I do really enough? Am I really making God proud enough? I have all these doubts that are swarming around in my mind it is taking the ability to take a deep breath!

So I just had to stop! I had to stop and step back and analyze myself. Just me. Not how I may be perceived in God's light. Not how I may be perceived in a friend's mind or in a coworker's mind. Just me, how am I perceived in my own mind? That's when I realized that everything is okay. Let me explain.

I know I have not always made God proud, but I know that I am making God proud now. God knows that I am still learning, and He knows this because I keep turning back to His Book. This is what I do. So I do not need to explain it to anyone. He sees how much I've come and how much I have changed, so I do not need to explain it to anyone. I used to think I did. I used to think that I had an explanation for everything. Then I realized what this verse is telling me; I just need to believe. I just need to believe and listen to what God has for me.

The contentment that is inside of me is overwhelming and I love it. I love where I am right now in God's word. It will be changing and growing and evolving, I know that. The thing is I am ready for it! I hope you are too. If you're not and you want to talk, or if you are and you want to talk; send me a message. I am really enjoying going through these verses and really putting them to work in my life.

Love Y'all, Until Next Time!

Kristina

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