I Know How to Miss Someone
For many years I did not really know what it was like to actually miss someone being in my life. I have been so focused on building myself up, building my family up, and looking out for others; that I never stepped back and really examined how to appropriately miss someone. This may be weird for many people to understand or even. Why would you want to miss someone? When you miss someone doesn’t really make the heart grow fonder? Let’s examine that and we can all come up with our own answer.
My immediate family unit is extremely small; my husband, myself, and my son. If you have been reading my blog then you already know my son is in the military and he is deployed to another country right now. You would think that would force me to immediately miss you; but does it? Of course, I miss him to a degree. But I also realize that joining the military was his career choice and he did that to better himself, his career, as well as stand up and defend the country that he loves.
When he first left home and went to boot camp; I was crushed. I cried I sobbed, I worried, and then I realized none of that did me any good. So I stopped. I stopped so that I could step back and reevaluate where he was and why he was there. He was there voluntarily and he was in one of the same places he could be. He was being personally trained by the best of the best to better serve within our military. They are teaching him how to be a better person. When I put this into perspective, my tears stopped. My anxiety stopped. Because I am his mother my worry will never stop. But it is not followed with a negative connotation any longer. I embrace his military life because now, years later, I see that he loves it! He loves what he has learned, the frenzy has made, and the career he has built.
It hit me today when my phone rang, and it was him. He has now been in the military for several years and every time his face shows up on my phone my heart skips a beat. Because I love him and I love what he’s doing with his life. We talked for a very brief moment and that’s when I realized that I have learned how to miss him, appropriately. Yes of course I worry, but missing him is not the focal point of my life. When we video chat and I see his smile, I know he loves it. He loves what he is doing. So how can I not love that for him just as much!
If you have read this far into the thoughts I have outlined for you, then obviously you know I have an undying love for my family. But please know this. After years of training my body, learning how to pray faithfully, and cherishing every moment that phone rings and his face should appear; I have ultimately learned how to appropriately miss someone. And in this context, that someone is my son.
Thanks for Reading;
Kristina :)