Anxiety is a Beast
I pray that one day I have no anxious feelings in my body; that day has not arrived yet. I get anxious about the smallest things that often I do not even tell people out of fear of being laughed at or judged. I hope my friends would not laugh at me; but what is stopping them from laughing? Nothing.
This past week has been tough for me. The weather in Texas has been extremely cold [in the 30s-40s] and there has been no sunshine at all. Nothing to brighten my day or warm my body when I walk. It makes me feel empty in a way that is very difficult for me to put into words. I walk Beatty in the morning - and it is dark and cold, afternoon – still dark and cold, evening – just darker and colder.
The colder the weather just brings on a different set of anxiety ridden nerves. Is the apartment warm enough so the pipes do not break? Is it so cold outside the truck will not start? Will I get sick and be unable to work? If that happens, will we fall behind on bills? Falling behind on bills means we will be in debt! And this is just in an hour or so.
I have really been turning to prayer – much more lately. Psalm 46:1 has been my go-to this week. [1] God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Yes? This is what I recite multiple times a day just to get through the day. This is helping, to a degree. I wish I could say wholeheartedly that I am cured and have no anxious feelings in my body. But I can’t. I would totally be lying if I tried to utter those words.
I have been personalizing this verse to be directed to me. I often say something like this; God is MY refuge and MY strength, a very REAL HELP when I am ANXIOUS. I know it is not the same, but when I pray to Him, He knows what I mean and how I mean it. He listens and He responds. What we need to realize is that the bible is a guide or a manual. I do not need to read or recite it verbatim for Him to understand and answer my prayers.
If you have issues with anxiety too, I would be happy to connect and check in on each other from time to time. I have FB, Insta, and TikTok. Or you can text me at 214-779-8556 as well.
Love Ya’ll,
Kristina