After last week, I have been throwing myself into God's word. Ensuring that I wake up and read His devotional and His word every morning to keep myself on track. I am sincerely trying to keep myself out of such severe anxiety, and depression that I was in just last week. I want everyone to know that just because I am a Christian, does not mean that I cannot become anxious or I cannot become depressed. I am, after all, human. The key here is that I don't stay there. The fact that I am relying on God and the written word is ultimately what I am trying to do. With that being said, let me continue.
The verse I have been relying on so far this week has been Romans 8:15 which reads, “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him, we cry, “Abba, Father.” At first, I had to admit to myself that I really couldn't understand what this verse had to do with anxiety. But then, just relying on the word itself gave me answers.
Sometimes you just have to rely on the fact that God is not going to give you anything to rely on that is not worthy of relying on. So, as quickly as I started to doubt this verse I dismissed that doubt. And I have been relying on this verse for the past few days now. And it has been extremely helpful. When I am not sure which way to turn or I am not sure which direction to go I call out to my Father, to my God. I have had to rely on God's word every day this week, just to get through. And I don't anticipate it letting up anytime too soon. And I am okay with that. Because finally, I am feeling a bit of peace. It has been a long time. And I am ready to receive it.
After last week, I am trying to take this week very slow. Of course, I am relying on my biblical teaching, but I am also relying on my ability to say ‘no’. This is not only true at work, it is also true at home. I have really been making myself focus on my mental clarity and recovery. I know I suffer from anxiety, but last week was really bad. And in all honesty, it scared me. I saw firsthand that I do not want that to happen again, anytime too soon.
Until next time.
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