100 Days of Anxiety: Day 2
So, anxiety, right? This is going to be the death of me. My job consists of me doing customer service work with basically three other people. So each person has responsibilities over a separate customer or client base. Well, our biggest customer in the building is having an open inventory this week which means it is "all hands on deck" to count all of their items. This means someone still has to take care of customer service for our other customers. Guess who gets to do that?! I will give you one guess. Yes, le sigh, it is me.
Not only did the influx and emails quadruple but we also had visitors in the building. The actual customer base that is having the inventory graced us with their presence today. So, I had to monitor the front desk for a little bit, get the visitors checked in, monitor the emails, and tied up about 17,000 other loose ends. That number is completely exaggerated. But in my mind, it felt like much more.
My anxiety was in full force today because I wanted to make not only my immediate supervisor proud. I wanted to make every supervisor in the building proud. I wanted to make myself proud of myself. And I wanted people to look at me and say; she can handle it! I can only hope and pray that I was able to do that.
I kept going back to Deuteronomy. Deuteronomy 6:19 to be precise, "thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the Lord said". I kept trying to understand how this was supposed to help my anxiety. So I went further and read into Deuteronomy 7:21 and then it started to make sense, "do not be terrified by them, for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a great and awesome God".
Think about it. I thought about it for a long time today. But I really had to think about what the verses were telling me. I continued rereading it until it starts to make a bit of sense. Basically, the word is telling me not to be afraid because that is what God has already told me. He is already told me not to be afraid, so why am I? Why am I afraid of making a mistake? Why am I afraid of making this customer wait 30 seconds for a greeting? Why am I afraid of letting someone down?
Once I started putting it together like a puzzle it all started to make sense. These verses are in the Bible to remind me that it is okay. It will be okay because God said so. Once I really start living by this; my days and nights will become much calmer. I was extremely proud of myself at the end of the day. I was able to handle everything from beginning to end. And as far as I know, there were no complaints.
I just have to accept the fact that I literally did the best I could do. I can never do anymore.
Until next time.
Kristina